Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Deacon Samples Some Lurch Lindemans Whites!

Happy January! Yes, dear friends, I be back again!

...and of course, all the rest of you thumb-suckin', goblin fleeing, data-transferring, scrotal fever blisters can officially bite my wand.

It's gonna be a great year for wine, and I wanna start the annum off nice and easy with a review of a couple of bottles of white wine I've enjoyed recently. Now of course some of you have already tuned me out, because you "only drink red wine". I'm sure you do...but have you asked yourself why you "only drink red wine"? If you really think this through, I think you'll discover that the primary reason for this is quite simple: You're a DIK! You are missing out on some great wines that just have to be consumed in the right context for you to enjoy them every bit as much as your heavy-hitting reds.

When I started studying the Munnelly methods of wine drinking, it quickly became apparent that white wine served a valuable purpose in the overall scheme of life. There's really nothing like a clean and fresh glass or two of the clear stuff to get your evening started, or tune up your appetite for the dinner that follows.

So...Here are a couple of white wines that I think you'll find to be very lurch:

Lindemans Bin 85 Pinot Grigio This Australian is described as having tropical fruit characters and guava notes. Now I'm a gourmand, not a gourmet, and I wouldn't know guava from guano. But here's what I do know: This is a really refreshing wine for just before a big honkin' meal! It has an unusual characteristic, insofar as there's a very slight but quite pleasant bitterness in the finish. It's almost a little herbaceous bite, and I find that it gets the digestive juices going and makes me hungry for some substantial food. Another thing I like about it is the total absence of frickin tree flavours! That's right...there's no oak, and it's nice to let the grapes speak for themselves for a change. My millions of regular readers know that your humble Deacon loves oak, but sometimes there's so much, it approaches the taste of plywood and this is a nice break from the lumberyard. The great thing is the price. This wine delivers value at only $11.25 which includes all usual fees the LCBastardO adds.

Next is another Lindemans wine that really grabbed me by the pouch! I'm talkin' about the Bin 95 Sauvignon Blanc! Now I know a lot of you peckers out there are martini freaks, because you're told by the media-moron glans heads who control your brain that you're supposed to like martinis, even though they taste like Ronson lighter fluid smells. Well break out of the mould, Jack! Be an individual and pour yourself a glass of this Sauvignon Blanc as a Deacon Dr. Fresh Martini Substitute. This vibey white gives a nice little electric jolt of energy that will get the conversation flowing in no time! Try it with some herbed chicken too, and make sure you drink it really cold to bring out the electrons...Once again, it's well worth the price. Just like the Pinot Grigio, it's great value: only $11.40, even after the LCBMafiaOsos have taken their cut.

So check one of them out! Or even better, buy them both. You'll thank me, just as I am thanking me.

More Aussie reviews coming soon...

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Backin' the boyz Down Under

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