Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Deacon's Male Bag!

Yo Wassup Homeys?

Your humble Deacon here...rappin' and rockin' and havin' more fun than's good for a man!

You know I always be glad to hear from my fanz, and I read each and every adoring email I gets!

My last posting regardin' Fat Cat Bistro generated a lot of interest and I'm proud to 'nounce to you that my loyal list of subscribers has reached today the grand sum of 702! That's right! 702 people who get regular discrete updates from the Deacon Himself, so they never have to guess when this homey's posted somethin' wine-related and lurch! If y'all wants to be on the list and know what's going down before the crackahs do, just drop me a line at and I'll put y'all on the list!

So here we go for some cool nooz from the Freshest Winester on the block!

...and lest we's the compulsory greeting to all you poodle walkin', Prada wearin', Beemer washin', peace disturbin', beater-boppin', Tragically Dull listenin' DIX out there who don't have a clue what I'm rappin' bout, but keep on comin' back because I'm better than television!

Bite me crank!

So let's start by openin' my Male Bag...

Yo Deacon! I LOVE your blog. Thank God you're out there! I just spent an hour reading your back issues. Please don't leave us!
- Cassandra, Edmonton Alberta

Yo Cassie! Thanks for the kindness. Don't ch'all worry. Your Deacon aint goin' nowhere. Where else can you get this kind of wine litterassy? - DDF

Hello Dr. Fresh: Last Tuesday night I went down to Queen's Quay and found your boat, just where you said it would be, right next to Captain John's Seafood Restaurant. I tried to get onboard because I wanted an autograph, but this tall white dude wouldn't let us on the boat. He actually twisted my fiance's neck and threw him down between the boat and the dock. I think it was a bit excessive as Ricardo's dead now, but is there anyway to get an autograph?
- Joanna K., Mississauga, Ontario

Yo Jo! Sorry about the Bro! That would be Adam who done that. He get's kind of zealous sometimes, but I'm a Huge frickin' Star, so what do you expect? I requires high security. First of all, the Black Freighter's a ship. Boats are submarines. Secondly, if you or any of my readers email me I'll send you a signed photograph of your Humble Deacon, both free and gratis! - DDF

Hey Deacon...I'm really getting into screw caps and I agree that they make a better seal than corks. Has anyone used the kind of metal caps they put on pop bottles and beer bottles for wine? This is a serious question!
- Salvador S. , Milton, Ontario

Yo Sal! What you're talkin' bout are called crown caps. They've been around for years and have been used for wines. Some Australian sparklings have used them for closures. The problem is, most people are DIX and associate them with pop and beer instead of recognizing their efficiency. Don't expect to see many of them in the near future! - DDF

Good afternoon Deacon! I love your blog! Here's my question...What's the best music to listen to while reading your postings? -Howard Morris, Scarborough

Yo Ho Mo! I recommend y'all check out Deacon Radio! It's online 24 hours a day and is commercial free, bringin' you all the sounds of the Homeys! Here's the staion, so pass it on...

Deacon Radio

It's great for the workplace too!

That's all for today boyz and girlz!

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Wine DJ extraordinaire

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Deacon Lubs Fat Cat!

Yo Homeys, Homettes, and Homicidal Homebodies!

Wassup droogs? Your Humble Deacon is back online with another facinating update regarding Toronto's rich restaurant scene!

And of course, lest we forget...

Let's send out a special greeting to all you double-parked, Survivor addicted, peckerdine, beater-boppin' bunch of beater boppers, who'd never dream of actually openin' a book or listenin' to Glenn Gould, but just concentrate on clubbin' and hangin' round meat markets in the hope that you'll get to go to some stranger's apartment and spend a frenzied couple of hours boppin' in the beater!


In the name of Calico Jack, I greet you!

So here we go...

Last night, the Deaconess and I took the advice of Ultra-Lurch Zoltan Szabo and headed out to Fat Cat Bistro for Winterlicious. Now if you've been livin' in a Volkswagen beetle in Wal-Mart's parking lot, you probably haven't heard of Winterlicious. Basically, it's a way to check out some of Toronto's koolest restaurants with pre-arranged menu items at a bargain price. The idea is, you like it so much that you come back later and pay the full price. Well we check out a few every year, the Drake Hotel was another good one that I might write up sometime...So last night we climbed aboard the Black Freighter and after clearing the ice and rime from the rigging and dusting the snow from the black mainsail, I punched 376 Eglinton Avenue West into the Garmin GPS, hoisted the Jolly Roger, and with a blast of the air-horn, headed northwest from the mooring at Queen's Quay. *

We arrived at 6 PM, which is actually a good time to dine. It seems that most of the peckerwaters are still at work fiddlin' with their crackberries and sendin' text messages, and fantasizin' about boppin' in the beater, so the establishment was only just beginning to fill up. The Deaconess and I were greeted warmly by Alison, who gave us a really lurch table tucked into a corner by the front window. I kept my back to the glass, figurin' that riskin' a driveby was better than facin' all the papparazzi who seemed to think I was Johnny Depp. It was kind of cold last night, so Alison actually brought a portable heater over and set it beside us, and although it was mostly decorative on such a jank-cold night, it was a lurch gesture, nonetheless.

I ordered the Puree of Cauliflower Soup with White Truffle Oil with Toasted Walnuts. The scent of the truffles was barely discernible, which is a pleasant change from the crackermoron chefs who usually overdo it. It was a 9/10 (not to be confused with a 9/11) and would have scored even higher, but it needed just a touch of salt that was absent from the tables, which means y'all look like a muh-fuh if you axe for it! I followed with Grilled Chicken Supreme with Smoked Paprika Sauce, Sweet Potato Mash and Sauteed Collared Greens. This was truly lurch! Chef and proprietor Mathew Sutherland (no relation to Adam "The Sadist" Sutherland) knows what he's doin'. The only thing worse than dried-up overcooked poultry is when it's cooked rare and frickin' kills you. Well the Chicken Supreme was cooked to the moment of perfection and no further, which isn't easy to do. Just go to Swiss Chalet and you'll see what I mean...

For dessert I had
Apple Apricot Linzer Torte with Crème Anglaise. If you're a crackerhead peckah who needs to have this explained, suffice to say you won't understand the explanation. It was lurch though! The Deaconess started with Portuguese Chorizo Sausage with Caramelized Onions and Roasted Garlic baked with Sheep’s Milk Cheese. She liked it a lot, but refuses to use the word "Awesome", which you hear about every 5 seconds in some mofos' company. For the main course she had Roasted Black Olive Marinated Monkfish with Tomato Risotto Cake, Sauteed Rapini and a Caper Brown Butter Sauce. She loved it and told me that monkfish is "poor man's lobster". Yeah sure it is. I'll stick with lobster, which is rich man's monkfish! Her dessert was Warm Dark Chocolate Brownie with Milk Chocolate Ice Cream and White Chocolate Sauce. It all sounded way too racial for Yours Truly, but even though I don't normally care for brownies, I had to admit it was damn good.

We went for the compulsory wine with the meal. In this case a flight of 3 wines by Fielding Estate, one of your Deacon's faves. You might remember me givin' y'all a heads-up on Fielding's excellent un-oaked Chardonnay a couple of months back, and no less than Cosmic Brain Girl Sarah D'Amato put me on to Fielding's Pinot Noir, which was wine number 2 and also totally lurch! Our final fermented grape was Fielding Estate Icewine and was definitely superior kwality. Trust me in this, the Fieldings are doin' some interestin' stuff...

Chef Mathew came out to visit the Deacon and Deaconess and hung out at our table for a while. He's one kool dude and knows his cookin'. So check out Fat Cat. I'm givin' them a big 2 thumbs up. Love the decor too...

Here's their website:

Tell them the Deacon sent you...

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Fat Cat's newest fan

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