Debris still falls from 2007 Ontario Wine Awards!
Ha Ha Hahahahahahahaha!!!
I greet you all!
Bite me crank!
"Icewine has put Canada on the map!" (applause)
"And no-one makes better icewine than Ontario!" (wild applause)
"And no-one makes more Ontario icewine...than the Chinese!" (confused applause)
At the end of the evening your Deacon said:
"The judging of these awards was done under the scrutiny of Price Waterhouse who ensured everything was above board. And I swear by Billy Munnelly's liver, and the $2,000.00 cash in this envelope that these awards were not fixed!"
So the evening was a mix. There were my homeys, like John and Zoltan Szabo, Doug Beatty, Tony Aspler, Sadie Darby, Jono Kuhling, Suzanne Janke, Lindsay Groves, John Maxwell and a host of others who still possess that rarest of traits, a sense of humour. Your Deacon thanks you. It seems at least some of you remembered that when you ask the Deacon to Host, you ain't gonna get Snora Jones, who I'm sure they'll be gettin' next year...
Now you might recall that I always go on and on about peckerdines and crackerwater mofo DIX who just don't get it, but keep tuning in... Well clearly, some of you still don't get it, even though you were at the awards, so I'm going to explain what the Deacon is all about, and let the dirty little secret of the wine industry out of Pandora's Box, releasing the Furies...
The horrible and unmentionable secret of the wine industry that the super-serious frozen faced intelligentsia don't want you to know is...
It's only grape juice.
That's right. It's only effing grape juice!
The Jester has just pointed out that the Emperor has no clothes.
That's what the Deacon and this blog are all about. And note that this in no way besmirches the totally kool and dedicated winemakers and fine wineries in this great industry. Your Deacon is always there for you.
But let's lighten up a bit.
And if you were there, and were offended by anything I said or did, please realize that was not my intent. If my comments or actions caused you any discomfort or anger, by undermining the dignity of these awards, please permit me to quote Nikola Tesla, and say:
Bite my rich red wire!
You heard me.
Deacon Dr. Fresh
Because Ideas are Bulletproof