Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Monday, February 27, 2006

The Deacon Trashes Pillitteri Event!

Yo and wassup to my fans and all you mofo crackerdine monkey-peckers who keep on comin' back for more! And why wouldn't you come back when you're gettin' the real dope on all the lurchest wine news?

Your humble Deacon just got back from a weekend in Niagara with the Deaconess where we attended an invitation only release party for Pillitteri's new i baci wines. And I gotta tell y'all that I was extremely disappointed...Disappointed that there was nothing to criticize! The whole evening was fantastic! Having just been on a tirade, slagging the Turin Olympics Opening Ceremonies, my knife was sharp and I was out for blood and loaded for bear. And then the good folks at Pillitteri Estate Winery provide a first-rate event and I gotta go back to Fresh Manor with my Glock unfired!
The evening was great from the get-go. I made my usual dramatic, professional stunt-driver style entrance by lockin' the brakes on the candy-apple Caddy and doin' a 4 wheel power-slide into the packed parking lot. The Deaconess and I entered in style, having hired a piper for the event, and there wasn't a dry eye in the place as we sashayed through the doors, resplendent in purple mink. The purpose of the evening was the unveiling of the i baci series of international wines. You may remember that Niagara was hit hard by one peckerjank winter that left much of the region with a short crop in the 2005 harvest. In the past, Pillitteri had released an "International Series", blending the wines of Italy, Chile and Argentina with the Niagara product. These proved to be lurch indeed and lots of loyal customers wanted more. So now the i baci label replaces the former series and does so with a brand-new look. I baci is Eye-Tie for "the kisses", as is readily apparent from the vibrant, erotic look of the new labels, designed by contemporary Montreal artist, Niko. (One of the highlights of the evening was the unveiling of the original paintings which drew an appreciative round of applause).
We were handed glasses of bubbly and began to work the room. It was great to finally meet Italian-Argentinian lurchbabe and Marketing Manager Gabriela at last. She made us very welcome and provided your Deacon with a informative CD on the new releases. As a Brit, I personally apologized for the 1982 Falklands Conflict and she thanked Britain for treating the Argentine conscript POW's so well. We buried the hatchet and got our pictures taken together to immortalize the historic meeting. Everybody lubs the Deacon...
We all headed upstairs for a sampling of the i baci collection, along with a good array of cheeses, salami, bread, olives, etc. You gotta hand it to the Italians! Nobody does it better. We hooked up with everyone's favourite blonde, Winegenius Sue-Ann Staff, the brains behind the Pillitteri product. I axed her who she'd fight in the Octagon but she's not sure yet. Then we met Uberchef Michael Pataran who's takin' on the Executive Chef position at Niagara on the Lake's Prince of Wales Hotel. He's a very cool and lurch man and he became the Deacon's official source of sake information. He'd love to fight Pat Quinn in the Octagon, but I think it would be better if he took on his doppelganger, Steven Seagall! Now that's a fight I'd like to see...Perhaps it could be the preliminary bout when your Deacon fights William Shatner in the not-to-distant future...
The i baci wines were interesting indeed. My fave was undoubtedly the Cab/Merlot blend, combining the offerings of Italy, Chile and Niagara. This is a very nice house wine and sips well, even without food. After some more meeting and greeting ("Oh! You're the Deacon! So wonderful to finally meet you!") we did the compulsory tour of the winery; the cellars being the real high-point. Pillitteri boasts the largest single wine cellar in Canada. The combination of Old World tradition and New World stylings are impressive indeed. Imagine a poured concrete table, over 500 inches long as the centrepiece of the room. Think of an extremely attractive and lengthy morgue-slab, surrounded by Romanesque arches and stainless steel chairs and you get the idea. The cool thing about the chairs is they're hung from the walls, creating a planet Krypton court-room feel that's quite amazing. The entire room is designed numerologically around the number 23 and would make Dan Brown proud. It's a very cool place where the entire Pillitteri Family can dine together with a ton of close friends.
So yeah, the title of this piece was ironic indeed. Congrats to Sue-Ann Staff and the Pillitteri family for engineering some great wines and a highly lurch event!
Check out their website:
You heard me.
Deacon Dr. Fresh
Winin' and Dinin' with the Starz


Anonymous Anonymous said...


After havin been away from your brag for several weeks, know what I'm sayin? I just wanted to say how much I'm enjoyin, know what I'm sayin? readin your writin. You are indeed the Renaissance Man.


12:26 PM  

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