Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at http://winefordix.blogspot.com

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Deacon schmoozes at Gourmet Food & Wine Expo!


Greetings Wine Aficionados, Peckerwoods and Mofos!

Your humble Deacon has returned from the event of the season with much to tell. Me and the Deaconess arrived at the Metro Convention Centre at the opening bell at 2 PM to sample all that the show had to offer, and we weren't disappointed! We stocked up on a couple of hundred tickets and turned ourselves loose on the various booths featuring food and wine galore. (It may be my imagination, but the food didn't seem quite as plentiful this year; something that should be remedied in the next 12 months.) Nevertheless, we loaded up at Oyster Boy with 20 chilled PEI and West Coast raw molluscs and were very happy with the result. These dudes do parties too. You only need to order 100 of the little mofos and Oyster Boy will come to your bordello and provide a mega-lurch evening for you, your homeys, and your entire stable of hoes! Check out: http://www.toronto.com/profile/306368/ and tell them the Deacon sent you.

We went on to sample numerous wines, olive oils, truffles, kobe beef, etc. Since we stayed for 7 hours, I can only give you the highlights:

  • Visiting Bad Dog Wines which brought to the Deacon's mind, his beloved but deceased bull terrier Lockjaw.
  • Hangin' out with the extremely lurch Daniel Speck of Henry of Pelham Winery. Your Deacon has already commented on their excellent unfiltered 2003 Pinot Noir and was thrilled by their 2002 super-lurch Pinot too. It was very dry and put me in mind of a good roast turkey dinner. Thanks for your hospitality Daniel! The Deacon's got your back.
  • Eating venison at the table of CN Tower's 360 Restaurant under the friendly eye of the lovely and ultra-competant Doris Bradley. That be one lurch fox! (You heard me!)
  • Taste-testing my all-time favourite ice wine by Coyote's Run, whose Jeff Aubry gave the Deacon the best quote of the day: "I find Robert Parker's palate to just be wrong. Damn wrong. I'm glad you're fighting the cracker!"
  • Touring the show and tasting wines under the auspices of Jonathon Kuhling of Peninsula Ridge Estate Winery. Pen Ridge didn't have anything on display at the show, but Jonathon's another great host and I'll be droppin' by the winery Thursday.
  • Matt Loney of Creekside Estate Winery put the Deacon on to a really nice Sauvignon Blanc. It's their 2004 and in general listings for just $12.95. Great value at that price!
  • Bumpin' shoulders with super talent Sue-Ann Staff, the Winemaster at Pillitteri Estates. Check her out online: http://www.pillitteri.com/index2.html This lady know's her stuff and is pretty damn lurch to boot!

We ended the day by attending a wonderful 90 minute seminar with everyone's favourite Irishman, Billy Munnelly. The Deaconess commented on how trim and lurch Billy looked in his ultra-mod vertical stripes and he was truly up to form, delivering a down to earth lecture that put all the snobs in their places! His philosophy is truly sane and rational. You won't hear anything like "A lingering wine with hints of briar and cedar waxwing with an almost courtesan shyness that approximates the grip of subtle thorns, peeking out from behind two layers of bandaged pomegranate and an aroma redolant of a poultice." And why not? Because that's mofo jank-bucket talk! Billy divides wine into simple categories that real people can manage. Words like "Fresh and energizing" convey an immediate impression that even the crackerwood mofo monkey peckers in the back row could take back to their trailers. All attendees received a copy of his latest, extremely useful wine guide too. You can order one for yourself and discover the lurchest wines for the most reasonable prices. Here's his website: http://www.billysbestbottles.com/

All in all, it was a great day. We sampled the wares of Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, France, Italy and California. Nevertheless, it showed us what world contenders some of our Canadian wines are quickly becoming. Your humble Deacon would love to do his own seminar at the 2006 Expo, pairing wine with music in his own inimitable style. He just needs to get in-frickin-vited!

In the meantime, stay lurch. And don't forget to check out

The Deacon's Unabridged Dictionary at: http://deacondictionary.blogspot.com/

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh

Hangover King of the Toronto Wine Scene

1 Comments:

Anonymous jmorgan@acrobatmusic.com said...

Yo my sycho -logical groovin meister. I knows you is on da look out for a deal so stick your probiscus into some 2004 McWilliams Cabernet sauvignon from eastern Australia where they have eastern Kangaroos. I always though him was a eastern bunny!

6:05 PM  

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