Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Vatican Releases "Popes de Rome" Wine!


Greetings Homeys and Homettes! It's official! Some of you vitis vinifera fanatics have written thanking me for the heads-up regarding Goats do Roam, the South African would-be clone of a classic Cotes de Rhone. I wrote of the Village version as being worth the few extra bucks. Well it's happened...The clone has been cloned! Check out the Vatican's newest offering: Popes de Rome 2004. This lively, powerful and vindictive wine is Cardinal red with a rather Jesuit note that first hits the tongue like a black leather strap. There is a fruity frivolousness, backed by an acid backbone as strong as the steel in a Panzer Division. The tannins stab your mouth like a bayonet, demanding immediate doctrinal conformity. Made entirely from the rare Ignatia de Loyola grape, this conservative wine is the first release from the Magisterium of the Holy Inquisition Collection. A whole case will run you only $666.00 and you get a free indulgence coupon worth 500 years off your Purgatory time with every case purchased! All orders of 10 or more cases are delivered securely packed in an iron maiden with a free pair of thumbscrews!
Order direct online:
You heard me.
Archdeacon Dr. Fresh

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Deacon, what wine should I drink when reading the NASB, ESV or Geneva Bible?

11:37 AM  
Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said...

Greetings Anonymus:

For the ESV, or Geneva, in keeping with the roots of the Reformation, stick with a German wine, such as Spatlase or Gewurtztraminer. In a pinch, a Riesling will do if it's nice and Graceful. Above all, avoid Popes de Rome and Blue Nun which are much better suited to the Latin Vulgate or Douay Version. When reading the NASB you are best off drinking an American red, such as a California Cabernet or an Oregon Pinot Noir.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Rotetoomuch said...

What do you suggest with a fine Diglot or perhaps a 1611 KJV? Better yet what do you like to have with your daily TNIV?

4:16 PM  
Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said...

With a Diglot or Greek Interlinear with Wuest Expository I like to go right to the source and drink Assyrtika. It's clean finish cuts through the Aorist tense like a riot shotgun through a youth gang! The 1611 requires more of an ancient British wine, most likely mead; provided it's not like syrup. The only drink that goes with the TNIV is urine.

You heard me.

5:30 PM  

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